How did I know? After all, I was only 8 years old and I had never heard the word "divorce" before, I had never used the word "divorce" in a sentence and I had no idea what the word meant.
There were at least three hundred people in the very large Mennonite Church for what would undoubtedly be one of the most beautiful weddings in a long time. The couple looked as perfect and gorgeous as Ken and Barbie. She, so delicate and pretty, he, so tall and handsome. Everything seemed to be coming together perfectly: The processional was breath-taking and the music was awe-inspiring--especially for an 8 year old, who was dreaming of her own wedding some day.
When suddenly, out of the blue, the 8 year old me, turned to my Mom and said in a whisper, "What's a divorce?".
My very proper Mom hushed me with a forcible hiss through her teeth, "Shhshhshh!"
But I persisted with the determination of an 8 year old on a mission.
"They're going to get one, Mom. They're going to get a divorce!" My poor Mom re-doubled her efforts to "sssshhhhh" me, but the truth according to me had once again spilled forth from my ‘I cannot keep the truth to myself’ lips.
My mother kept my secret insights to herself. I know that my Mom was gifted psychically, too, but she did not want her family members or any of her religious friends to know. She would be thought of as a witch or some other kind of a sinner. Even though, my Mom looked at me with deep compassion and empathy, she was determined to train me not to speak of my psychic insights in order to protect me from ridicule, in my own family or amongst church people and cousins for that matter.
Years later, she made a point of telling me herself, that my Ken and Barbie cousins had divorced and that "Ken" had actually admitted that he knew on the day of his wedding, that he had married the wrong person. My Mom didn't acknowledge my childhood prediction, but I could tell by the way she looked right into my eyes and watched my reaction to the news so carefully, exactly what was on both our minds when we spoke of the news. Ken and Barbie were the first couple in the family to get divorced, and even many years later, when divorce had become commonplace for many families, it was still a shock for all of us.
My Poor Mom! It was a religious dilemma for her to have psychic gifts So she held them in secret, deep in her soul, not feeling any particular call to share this part of her life with anyone. That was her private side. I know that she was at peace with using her gifts to connect with God and her children, the products of her love.
I always had a feeling that my Mom would visit me around the time of her death. I just didn’t expect her to communicate with me in the way that she did – in the form of a Magazine.
When Mom passed, my brother, Tom called to tell me. I asked him for exact time and I made a special note to remember what I was doing at that moment. I had a feeling that it would be somehow significant – and for me, it was! I was reading an article about self esteem, written by Maya Angelou in the March 2001 issue of Oprah Magazine.
The next morning, I packed the magazine as I prepared to fly to the funeral, thinking that I might share the article with my family at some point during our remembrances.
My daughter and I settled into our hotel, and the next morning upon returning from breakfast, we noticed the very same Oprah Magazine on the table. I thought it odd because I didn’t remember unpacking it. It was definitely the same issue. I panicked a little as I looked for a stamp saying that it was a Hotel copy. There was none. I asked my daughter if she had bought a copy, but she emphatically informed me that she doesn’t buy Oprah Magazines. I had no choice but to check my bags for my original copy. Sure enough, there it was – still in my suitcase. Now I had two copies of the same issue. Where had the second one come from? I asked my sister-in-law if she had left a copy in our room. She laughed and made the comment that I’d been living in California too long and as soon as I moved I wouldn’t have these experiences.
I ran downstairs to the Front Desk to ask the clerks if they had provided the magazine. They gave me a puzzled look. After all, here we were in a small city in Canada, and they had never heard of the newly published Oprah Magazine. I pretended that it must be my mistake and went back to my room ready to take in what was obviously a communication from my Mother in the form of a magazine article.
I read the story over and over again and enjoyed the many thoughts and impressions that were coming to me. My impression was that Mom was trying to remind me to really rely on myself and the strength of who I am. Self-esteem is what would give me the power to go through the difficulty of losing her and my father, who had passed 14 months previously.
I enjoy great peace, knowing that Mom reached out to me during her passing. It’s well known that the deceased often move their things around after their passing. My Mother’s precious reminder gave me physical proof that she is watching over me. On difficult days especially, I feel her closeness and her help. It gives me tremendous comfort that Mom left a final message tailor-made for me.
